It's Over...

I had some cramping and bloating today and yesterday, and so I believe that's it! I wish I had been temping to be sure, but honestly... deciding to try this last time was sort of a last minute thing. So there wasn't a whole lot of preparation to be had.

I'm going to try not to stress out too much about it and just let the chips fall where they may. We'll see what actually happens though lol. Tony is a little back and forth right now, but it's understandable. It's always different for dads. I know that he does want to have a baby though. It's not one of those things where the woman is just going insane with baby fever, and the husband doesn't really want a baby but goes along with it anyway. At least I hope it isn't. Tony has this terrible habit of trying to give me everything that I want without taking into consideration how it will effect him. It kills me sometimes, it really does. I wonder how in the world I ended up with such a man. I sincerely do not deserve him.

Anyway, I'm counting down the days until I can take a test. I'm going to have to fight the urge to buy out all of the pregnancy tests at the Dollar Tree to feed the need to POAS (pee on a stick). Unplanned pregnancies are so much easier. One day you're just late and so you take a test, and bam... bliss. Planned pregnancies are so much harder because you're worried that things won't work out, you're counting down the days until you know for sure, you're driving yourself crazy, and then at the end (if you're not pregnant) then you wonder what's wrong with you that you could't do the most basic animal thing... reproduce.

I have been so nervous, I've barely been eating. I have been trying to balance things out though so that if there is a baby I'm getting enough nutrients to support it, but even if I ovulated yesterday, it will be another 5-10 days until implantation would happen... so I guess worrying about the well being of the baby at this point is kind of moot. I did eat 2 chocolate chip cookies though. They were worth it.

This is what I ate today

6" Oven Roasted Chicken Breast sub
apple
Special K Honey and Oat cereal with FF milk
4 oz (well, 3.8) turkey burger (no bun) with FF cheese, and broccoli
2 chocolate chip cookies.

Wow, looking at that makes me cringe a little. There's NO WAY that's enough food. Ugh. Maybe I will find something else yummy and wholesome to eat before I turn in. But I'm not really all that hungry so maybe not. Damn nervous tummy.