At least I hope. The 2WW (2 week wait) is the dreaded phase between ovulation and the onset of your period in which you go TOTALLY INSANE making up imaginary pregnancy symptoms and wondering if every twinge and cramp means something. I'm not entirely sure of when (or if) I ovulated, so I'm assuming that I'm in the 2WW now. If everything goes well, I should be able to take a pregnancy test around Tony and my anniversary which would be awesome... but with the possibility of disappointment (along with the cost of pregnancy tests) I may just wait until I think I'm late. I say "think" because, again, I'm not entirely sure on my dates. I'm hopeful, but not entirely sure. I did cover my bases as far as my normal cycle length is concerned, so I should be okay. I feel like I gave it 100%. But sometimes when you want something so bad, it's hard to push away all of the second guessing. I wouldn't have done anything different though, and I don't want to continue to "try" anymore. I think at this point it would just be unneccessary. And besides, I prefer sex for fun anyway ;)
In other news, I still haven't been back to the gym yet. I thought about going today, but with the childwatch schedule being different on Saturdays, that's not going to happen. I will be going back soon though. Especially if I do get pregnant, because it's really good for me and baby to be exercising. I worked out through my pregnancy with Aaron and felt amazing the whole time. My diet has been a little "eh." I haven't tracked a single thing I've eaten but I have been limiting things for the most part. And without the pressure in my head to succeed, I have been able to take a taste of things I like (ex. the donut Tony bought me today <3 ) without really eating it. I don't think I'm over my eating disorder, but being a mother makes things less difficult for me because I know what a binge would do to my potential child. And I feel like I need to protect my body, because it's (hopefully) housing something far more precious than any food I could think of.
I just hope this works, I really truly, completely hope that this works. I just can't try again. It's not worth the price we're paying to try again.
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