Up and at em'

So, I began my foray into diet and exercise land... so we'll see where this goes. I'm a little on the fluffy side right now, and hoping to get a little more hard bodied before summer. I am naturally muscular, and gain size easily. I love lift weights, it's just that pesky diet thing that keeps me from my desired body. Damn donuts and pizza for being so amazing. But it's okay. I'm ready to part ways with that stuff for a little while. Enter: Weight Watchers. I love the program and it works wonders for me. Not only that, but they've updated their program to favor clean eating which is better for you anyway. So that's good. So, I got up this morning and got on my trusty stationary bike for a while to start off on the right foot. I will be back at the gym tomorrow (all be it hiding in my sweats) to start lifting weights again. I'm pretty embarassed that of the past 3 weeks, 2 of them have been spent binge eating. Yep, that's me... a bulimic minus the barfing. I used to be an exercise bulimic... I would eat like a cow and then go run 10 miles. But then it wasn't enough. My weight is my cryptonite. It is my biggest weakness. So, I'm trying to find a balance with it. Aside from that, not really much going on. I hope I can stick with my goals this time, but honestly... who knows?

Welcome...

Here's a little background about me. Since I will get into the meat and potatoes of my life as time goes on, we'll just go on bare facts... in list form :)

-I'm 26 (well, almost)
-I married my high school sweetheart when I was 18. We're still married.
-I have 4 children, and I'm a half way decent mother... sometimes. I started my family at 16, so I'm still trying to figure things out.
-I'm terrified that people around me will be able to see the things I hate about myself, and hate me too. So I hide a lot of things about myself, and I'm almost never 100% genuine with the people around me. I am however 100% convincing, so they never know.
-I thought about having a 5th child, and despite a deep seeded desire to continue building our family... we've decided against it for a lot of reasons.
-I am a serial dieter. Nothing ever works for long though, because I'm also a binge eater/compulsive over eater. I am thinking over joining over eater anonymous, though I'm not all that anonymous anymore, huh?
-I have a very black and white personality. I'm either one extreme or the other, never in the middle. I don't see shades of gray. (I am working on this though)
-I love to work out, and I love to run. I have 10 million lofty fitness goals that I will likely write about until I drive them into the ground on this blog and never accomplish a single one.... which leads me to...
-I don't finish anything. This is a personality flaw I'm also working....

So that's a few things about me. Welcome to my blog. Stay a while and I will try not to bore you too much. If I do, there's a handy little [X] in the upper right-hand corner. Feel free to use it at any time.