And What Exactly Does He Hope to Accomplish...

... I wonder.

My husband is checking up on my ex like a jealous lover. You would think that THEY were in a past relationship, not me. Ugh, I don't understand it. How can you ever hope to get over something if you're constantly looking for it? I mean really! I can't even look thoughtful anymore without Tony freaking out and asking me if I'm going to leave him. I could be thinking of what I want to eat, what movie I would like to see, or just generally having a moment of body induced self loathing, but instantly he thinks I'm contemplating my escape from his clutches so that I can run screaming into the arms of my ex. I could seriously scream.

Being that I have eating disorders abound, let's liken this to food, shall we? It's like you're on a diet and you're at that wonderful place where you're not really having any cravings for ice cream, you're not even thinking about ice cream, but then someone comes up to you and accuses you of thinking of ice cream! As a matter of fact they work ice cream into every conversation they have with you! Then at the end, they expect you NOT to now have ice cream on the brain. It's freaking ridiculous. I'm not thinking about my ex 98% of the time but then he gets paranoid that I'm not going off on a tangent about how I'm not thinking about my ex, so what does he do? He brings up my ex! So am I thinking about my ex? Well, sure I am! Have someone talk to you about ice cream all day and try not to think about it!

I'm just aggravated. I'm trying to get our lives back to normal, but no... he won't let that happen. He's just sitting here, waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for me to leave him for this ex (and let me just tell everyone that there are a few MAJOR reasons why this guy is an ex!) and he's driving me insane with it! How is either one of us supposed to be secure in this relationship if he's constantly interrogating me for thinking about the ex that HE BROUGHT UP! He's not feeling close to me, and it is pushing me away in the process.

So, if you want to know why I'm so distant, it's because you're using him to push me away. By the way... I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a myspace, try facebook next time.