And I Ate the Whole Thing...

I think that lately I'm just spinning out of control in a lot of ways. And here's something you may not know about me.... I. Am. A. Control. Freak. I hate when I don't know every single detail about everything that's going on at any given time. And people wonder why I'm stressed out! We are supposed to be moving no later than the end of the school year, but again I'm skeptical that it will all come together. I want to go, but it feels a little like running away. Everything that's going on right now kind of feels like running away. I guess part of it is... but really it's about a fresh start and a better life for my family. I have been doing more research on the area that we're planning to move to, and I'm pretty stoked. If there's any truth to the southern hospitality urban legend, then it's all good. I think that part of me still feels like a 9 year old little girl who doesn't want to leave my home, but the rest of me is so over it and ready to just take the leap already because sitting here and thinking about it all of the time may KILL ME! So, per usual, I'm unloading my stress on my poor unassuming refrigerator, and consequently my waistline. It's a good thing I'm not leaving my husband, because at this point no one would take my fat ass. I'm all stuffed with stuffed crust at the moment. I'm feeling so many things right now. I'm glad that I have Tony to go to whenever it's time to get on with life. But for right now, we're very much stuck in neutral. Every passing day has me looking at real estate more nearby rather than on the other end of this pipe dream. It's so much safer to do it that way. There's an established job here, we know everything, and we can still use the difference in the cost of the house to get out of debt. On top of that we will still be close to family and my beloved YMCA and Renaissance Festival (do not hate on my dorkiness). But the house isn't the only thing on our minds. We're dealing with a lot more than I can say, even on here. I need to find my center, because I really feel like I'm spiraling totally out of control and I can't tell for the life of me which way is up. I feel like I live in a constant state of being lost all the time anymore. I hope things start clearing up for us, the further away from this mess that we get. Now, if we can only take those steps and get out of here.