So this morning, I decided that I was going to try and push all baby thoughts out of my head and jump headlong into trying to attain the body of my dreams. In case you missed my header, I'm not very good at this. I'm a horrible dieter. I will lose weight like a champ and then gain it all back. This last time, I started to see what my body may end up looking like in the future and I was happy with that. So, since I need a distraction anyway, and it's not looking like I'm going to be headed to the pizza buffet any time in the near future, I'm going to try and make this work. So, be prepared to listen to me whine and eventually watch me fail... miserably... again.
It's going to be nice to have a distraction though. I spent a lot of yesterday either trying very hard to be happy, or bawling my eyes out to the point where I couldn't breathe, so I'm thinking balance is going to be the name of the game. I really wish that we could have another baby. It was all that was on my mind yesterday and kept creeping in throughout the day today too. So, I'm trying not to think about that and trying to enjoy my precious little BooBoo, since he's about to come out of the baby stage very soon. I'm going to miss it so much! But life goes on I guess. It just would have been nice to have another curly headed blue eyed girlie girl... suppose there was no guarantee that would happen anyway. I could have ended up with another Aidan, God help me.
The supplements I'm on right now are ok. I'm cool with most of them. My fat burner is nice, and my thermogenic is CLEARLY working as I sit here running a fever LOL. But there's a metabolic enhancer that I'm taking too and my LORD is it making me sick! I seriously want to vomit! I can't wait until my next meal, I'm hoping that food will stifle the nausea. Who knows? It could make it work. Tony wants me to keep taking it to see if I get a tolerance to it, but seriously I don't think that I could handle taking it again.
I skipped cardio this morning because we were up until nearly 2am talking and crying and praying, but tomorrow I'm going to be on it. Then I'm out of town for the weekend (GO SHOOTING STARS!!) and then going back to the gym on Monday. It's time to get back in a rythm. I'm thinking about maybe taking a gymnastics class if I can find one, or maybe a dance class. If I'm done having babies ( :( ) then I'm going to get myself a nice full time job and maybe go out for a professional cheerleading squad. At least, I'm thinking about it if I'm not too old.
On another note, the house search is ongoing. We haven't met with the realtor for our house yet which is kind of good but kind of sucks. This house is not ready to be shown, but we're losing time on it every day. It would be so nice if we could do a quick closing on the house and have cash in hand to get a new one, but so far it's not looking like that is going to happen, so we'll see. I'm torn on the move, but I will be perfectly fine. Part of me is ready to go, and part of me just loves the pretty trees in my neighborhood too much to leave :) But it's all part of life I guess. Money makes the world go 'round and we don't have any. I wish that we could take out a loan, fix up the house, put some money away for this or that and then pay it back, but it's the whole "pay it back" part that's going to be an issue since we're dead broke and it's not going to get any better until I can get a job and that has to wait until I retire from my current job... full time Mommy.
One day at a time, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment